In the past two weeks I have had the realization that there are many self-centered people in the world.  This awareness has created a paradigm shift in my life.  This is a completely new notion for me, because I was working from the idea that people were much more altruistic.  I thought that the self-centered individual was a fluke.  I believed that this type of fearful and untrusting person numbered few and far between.  And, interestingly, I thought that the "self-centered flukes" that were present in my life, lived there because I had done something to cause them to be self-centered.  I have had this perception all my life.

     This new recognition has created great change for me.  Yes, there has been shock and the panic of how to fill this sudden "vacuum" but it has also brought to me the immense gifts of love, courage and understanding.  I have gotten clarity on some pretty major issues in my life and have realized that although I have self-centered people surrounding me, I also have contact with angels.  I can see that the people who tried to blame me for their troubles and make me the "cause" of their problems were actually only creating a reaction in me.  Their self-centeredness was their "cause."  I was the "effect".  In other words, it became very clear that this was their stuff and that I no longer needed to take on their energy.

     All this awareness, as pessimistic as it may read, has freed me up to see how much more valuable and special are the trusting and truly magnanimous individuals in my life.  I can feel absolute appreciation for these people.  Where as prior to this paradigm shift, they were just doing what "anyone" would do, now I know that these large souls are anything but common place.  I can see how truly unique and amazing these people are and how much their existence blesses my life and the world.

     I can now participate in seeing and experiencing my personal relationships more fully.  For example, this new life allows me to witness the total generosity of a friend with her time and money energy.  We live in a culture that is lack minded.  Time and money are the biggest reflections of this lack orientation. I more clearly see this person's willingness to share of her time, knowledge and financial success for the gift it is.  Instead of being stingy and miserly, at the drop of hat this friend will offer her energy without any strings or attachment to outcome.  By doing this she reaps the benefit of a truly successful life and moves the world to a more expansive and generous place.

     I realize through my current "learnings" that often people have so much fear that they cannot trust long enough to give up control.  This makes it impossible for them to enjoy a "surprise".  It makes them incapable of being spontaneous, a key component to achieving personal joy.  As a representative for a group of young people, I was in charge of purchasing a "thank you" gift.  I felt compelled to make this gift a surprise.  I simply gave the recipient directions to the "surprise" without telling him the outcome.  Prior to my current understanding, I didn't recognize how much trust was needed for a person to receive a "surprise" gift.  I didn't realize that the majority of people in receipt of this type of gift would have forced me to explain what was entailed in the present.  What I now know is that the man receiving this token of appreciation allowed himself to trust both me and life.  By doing this he greatly enhanced the value of this gift.  What he did by allowing the surprise to occur was bigger than the present it's self.  By bringing trust to the situation, he reflected this ability to receive and augmented the experience.  He surrendered to the process of life, creating freedom and personal joy.  His freedom in being this selfless creates more joy in the world.

     Recently I have witnessed an angel of compassion.  A family member of mine has chosen to support and assist someone who is oblivious to acts of kindness.  In the face of anger and resentment and a complete lack of appreciation this family member continues to serve an asks for nothing in return.  Her level of commitment has brought me to tears.  She performs these acts of service without expectation.  Her compassion is bound by nothing.  This infinite ability to care and nurture others brings true understanding to the world.  It serves as a reminder to us all of the potential for unconditional love within each of us.  How inspiring it is to observe this uncensored giving of the self. 

     Out of the darkness comes light.  My belief that being an angel was "everyday" and pedestrian lead me to under-estimate the truly miraculous souls who share the world.  The power of the three people I have written about exponentially out-weighs the darkness of many of those in fear.  It is my prayer that you experience an appreciate more fully your own earth angels.  Aloha.